A little over two years ago, God began nudging. Have you ever felt that nudge? When you feel pulled in a certain direction, led down a particular path, compelled to speak or do something that is different than what you are doing right now?
Jeremy and I were away for the weekend for our anniversary and having a yummy dinner in a quaint German restaurant. I was nervous to bring up my thoughts to him. We had fulfilled "our dream" of having 3 kids. Savannah was then 18 months old, Wesley was 7 and Emily was 9.
But God seemed to be nudging me again, opening my mind and heart to the possibility of extending our family even more. I was nervous because it was nothing but an act of God alone that moved Jeremy to a place of wanting to adopt back in 2006.
But I could not ignore this nudging.
So with a smile I told him what I had been thinking about in recent weeks. How I felt like we were "not through." How I thought there are more kids out there for our family--either through foster care or adoption. I told him I did not know what it meant, I did not have a plan, but I just wanted him to know.
He sat across from me and just smiled.
He took it in.
A little to my surprise, he did not make opposing statements.
And that was it.
That night, we celebrated our 13th anniversary and I think we reached a very sweet place in our relationship. I could share my crazy ideas and dreams with him and they would be accepted. He listened to me. He did not have to answer, tell me all the reasons why it was not a good idea, how we couldn't afford it, etc. He had learned something during the process of adopting Savannah.
We both had.
Through our first adoption, we saw how mightily God worked in so many ways. I think we both realized that it doesn't matter if we haven't figured it all out when we take a step of faith.
When we just say "YES."
God is GOD.
All He wants from us is a willing heart.
We just need to say YES.
Yes to whatever.
We tucked that conversation away and waited to hear more from the Lord on how He wanted to enlarge our family.....