yo no fui
it wasn't me!
OH.those.words. Those words are a big reason I need to get a night out once in a while.
I spent time with some dear new friends recently. All of us moms. All of us in the midst of adoption--whether just beginning the process, waiting to bring home, or at home with new kids. It was good to hear their stories and see their excitement. Each one laughed and talked about how they had once said, "I'll never...." or "Lord, please don't ever ask me to...."
I NEEDED to hear them laugh about it. I NEEDED to hear them tell why they are adopting again after being home with multiple adopted and biological children. I NEEDED to laugh and to cry and ask for prayer.
yo no fui
it wasn't me
We have been together just over 5 months and I see how we have come a long way in some things, yet we are still a long way off
My kids are beautiful. I mean really beautiful! And I have such high hopes and dreams for them all. But oh my goodness, LORD, help us make it through this day, this night, the next 5 minutes even.
So what have I learned in the last few months?
- It's no big deal. If I make a big deal about a holiday, a food, anything, then it becomes MY big deal and they want no part of it. It's not their big deal. So we entered Christmas with low expectations and made no big deal of the food and presents. They got presents. We told them how many they would get, we paid attention to everyone's wish list, and if they were not grateful then we would take their presents back. Christmas was rather nice.
- Things WILL get better. Some things have already gotten better. Time. The experts are right when they say it takes time---there are no short cuts, no skipping ahead. It takes time. I am trying to notice the small things as time passes and give thanks.
- I can never give too much TLC. EVERYONE of us have hurts, discomforts, aches, pains. Some of them are visible on the outside. Some of them are just a plea for a tender touch or attention. Some hurts will be buried for quite some time. Regardless if the pain is real or just a way to get a little extra attention, I give the attention....even if it means rubbing regular ole' lotion on some bite or skin irritation I can't see or putting a band-aid on a freckle. That TLC mends the heart and let's them know mom loves me, mom will take care of me, and I can go to her for anything I need. Anything.
- C.H.O.C.O.L.A.T.E. I always keep a stash of some kind of chocolate or sweet---that is just for me and my guy. When the kids go to their bedrooms for the night or I am having a particularly tough day and need to put myself in time-out, I thank God for chocolate. If you ever wonder how you can help and you may even ask me "How can I help you?" Chocolate is an easy way to bless me! I usually don't have an answer when someone asks how they can help me because that is such an overwhelming question. But....Chocolate and Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha and Sonic Cherry Limeade and while I'm at it, My Signature Massage, are great gifts!! ;-)
- Training--preferably before you get yourself into something like this.......is a good thing. We learned a lot last year before we brought our kids home. Since we have been together now over 5 months, I feel like I am coming out of the fog....a little. That training--small nuggets here and there--are coming back to me. It's really great when I put it to use! (Karyn Purvis and Mary Ring rock and are welcome to dinner anytime at my house!)
- The Word--chocolate and training are great, but all the Hershey bars and adoption books in the world will not REVIVE my soul like God's Word. Have you read Psalm 23 lately? It's loaded! Many people have memorized that passage and it's quoted in books and movies all the time--even those who don't follow Christ are familiar with these verses. Take a look:
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
(Psalm 23 ESV)
I could highlight every line as I think about how He has worked.
I love what my friend, Brandy, posted when she said that she hoped as others hear their story (His story) that they see what a mighty God we serve and how much He loves us!
I hope you see that here as you stop by from time to time!