The day I got married, one of my closest friends looked me in the eye and said "God has many wild and wonderful things ahead for you and Jeremy."

Being called mom by 7 kids is definitely wild. Each day I look for the wonder in it all...and give thanks.

Partnering with my husband in life, parenting, work and serving is definitely wonderful. He is my favorite.



Thursday, April 26, 2018

49 weeks

forgiveness feels like freedom.  a weight lifted.  i have not felt it quite like that until this week.  you see 49 weeks ago i hurt one of my best friends.  i betrayed her with my judgement and accusation.  and what is most painful for me is that i thought i was doing the right thing. 

i need much forgiveness.

49 weeks is a long time when you lose a friend like her.  we have known each other for almost 2 decades.  we have shared dinners, girls weekends, burdens, gifts, prayers, our families.  she was with me the day i found out my second born was a boy.  she was with me as we prayed for the children we did not know yet would become ours. if you browse my family photo albums you will find members of her family in our pictures.

the loss the past 49 weeks has been deep.  many would think, including myself, that there is not much hope for redemption after a hurt like that.  afterall, we were just friends....not family.  we could move on.  we have lots of good friends.  our lives are busy so we could just keep our minds on other people and other things.

but the truth is we can't ignore that loss.  it's too deep.  our relationships intersect. our kids intersect.  and ignoring our pain does not make it go away.  even though we do not share the same dna nor last names, she is family. we love and serve the same God.  we both have been rescued.  we both live in the forgiveness of Jesus. 

and perhaps i needed to understand that truth more.  i sin and ask for forgiveness as if i don't really hurt anybody.  the past 49 weeks i have been well aware of how my sin hurts.  how much i lose.  how much i need a savior.

and today that Savior made a way for us to be restored to one another again. 

sin abounds--i mess up even when i try to do the right thing
but t.h.a.n.k.f.u.l.l.y His grace abounds more.  

forgiveness is freedom

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